Dream & Happiness

I'm not happy recently. I think the main reason is that I lost my goal.

I was always happy before I went to University, as I had only one final goal during these 12 years of GETTING GOOD SCORES and ENTERING A GOOD UNIVERSITY. This goal was same as most of my friends, also same as what my parents and teachers' expectation, so I nearly had no chance to suspect what this goal could reallly brought me and why I wanted to pursue it. I spent 12 years in pursuing this goal, finally I got it.

During the 4 years in University, I was not as happy as before. I began to seek a new life goal, and fortunately I found it not too late. The goal was: I WANT TO BE A PROGRAMMER, AN EXCELLENT ONE. It was not an easy goal for me, as my major was Macromolecule Chemical Engineering. This goal was not as definite as my first goal, and the way for fulfilling it was also varying, which also made me headache.
Later, I began to work on the 2nd major Computer Science and Technology. Two majors kept me very busy, but I was very happy as I could feel I was getting closer and closer to my goal.
Sometimes I felt frustrated when I thought the knowledge I learned for my Chemist major was just useless for my goal but I had to spend time on them to get my degree. Also, it made me some kind of desperate when I thought the knowledge I was learning for my Computer major may be out of date and useless for finding a coding job. I had to always tell myself, there was no better way for me to pursue this goal. So I could get the peace of mind and continue working on it.
Finally I fulfilled this goal. It was hard to tell whether the 2nd major really helped me in finding that position or not. But one thing I know for sure now, even if I didn't spend so much time on my 2nd major, the time itself would be wasted as well.

The 3nd goal was TO BE A POSTGRADUATE IN COMPUTER OF THE BEST UNIVERSITY. I got this goal when I was in the third year of university. This goal was a pain for me, as it was both difficult and might not be something that I really needed. At the beginning of my last year in university(late 2000 and early 2001), there were a lot of good opportunities in job market, which started with the famous Hua Wei hiring thousands of developers with high salary (7k RMB/Month for the newbies). I wanted to stick to my goal, so I didn't apply for any positions. I took the entrance exam for master candidants for twice, and it totally cost me 1.5 years to pursue this goal. Finally I got nothing but the belief of this exam was not suitable for me, plus the loss of many wonderfully job opportunities. I always wondered what my life could be if I set the goal for going to a good company by the time of my last year.
After I gave up this goal, I started to work as a programmer in a very small company with only 1.8k monthly salary. Later I changed my job several times, and finally when I left China in 2006, I just earned around 7K per month which was same as the entry level pay at the Hua Wei in 2001.
It is good to have a goal and stick to it, but you have to make sure this goal is really what you want. otherwise, it may be better to have no goals...

(to be continued)
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quotes:
In a day and age when we have become so reactive and response to the daily needs of life, coaching is the opportunity to break free. In a coaching relationship you are in the seat of power and control and can proactively direct your life in the direction you want to go. In any area, career, relationship, health, community, when you are being coached you are asked two very important questions. First, what do you want? Second, what are you willing to do about it? These questions are potent and confronting, but the whole idea behind coaching is that you are hiring someone to supportively hold you accountable for getting what you want. You determine what that is.

You’d be amazed at how hard this can be for some. We are clear about some of our dreams and desires. I often hear, "I want to be paid well for doing work that I love." "I want more quality time with my family and friends." "I want to be healthy and fit, without having to go to the gym." "I want meaning and purpose in my life." But you might also be shocked to learn that quite often people say to me, "My dream is to have a dream."


Steps to help define your dreams, and make your dreams come true.
Step 1 - Write down your dreams. These are now considered goals. Writing them down gives you a visual view of what you are striving for.
Step 2 - Work a little each and every day on something that helps you to fulfill your dream. Take necessary classes, read books, gain self knowledge in what you are striving to accomplish.
Step 3 - Associate yourself with the right people. Hang out and talk with people in the field of your dreams. You want to gain some personal story experience from those who have been there.